Something about health care seems to bring out the braggadocio in Members of Congress. (Braggadocio? – big word! How about “exaggeration.” Wait! I’ve got it – “boasting.”)

Something about health care seems to bring the boasting out of Members of Congress. Last time it was “personalized medicine.” This time it’s primary health services.

The author of S. 3412 promises that it “would achieve access to comprehensive primary health care services for all Americans and improve primary care delivery through an expansion of the community health center and National Health Service Corps programs.”

It wouldn’t just help improve access to health care. It wouldn’t deliver more health care. No, this bill would “achieve access to comprehensive primary health care services for all Americans.” And a pony.

There are lots of problems with the health care system. There are some things that the government might not even be able to change, much less fix. So it’s nice to set goals and everything, but don’t go telling my people – that’s right, I’m looking out for all America now – that you’re going to achieve access to primary health services for all.

Here’s the current vote on the bill. Click to vote, comment, learn more, or edit the wiki article about the bill.

We’re back on energy issues, with the introduction of a bill to solve every last problem with one fell swoop. And we’ll all get a pony.

According to its statement of intent, H.R. 6529 would “greatly enhance the Nation’s environmental, energy, economic, and national security by terminating long-standing Federal prohibitions on the domestic production of abundant offshore supplies of oil and natural gas.” All that, all at once.

Last week, President Bush lifted an executive ban on producing oil from the Outer Continental Shelf. He encouraged Congress to lift its ban so that there could be more drilling.

Now, this much is true: If there were more drilling for oil, there would be more oil. When supply rises, prices tend to fall, or at least rise less quickly. There’s been talk, of course, that this wouldn’t happen quickly enough to get us any benefit. And lower prices would reduce pressure to move to other energy sources, meaning that we would continue to burn carbon-based fuel, with the environmental problems that carries.

But not with H.R. 6529. It would not just enhance, but “greatly enhance” all of our interests – environmental, energy, economic, and national security.

And wait a minute – national security? There’s a connection between oil and national security, of course. We need oil and other energy sources to maintain our military. BUT, the concern with high energy prices today is about driving our big cars for long distances, not about whether we’ll be able to muster tanks to fend off attacking Canadians. The national security dimension of oil is over-played, and over-played in this bill.

Its promise to fix everything with a snap of the fingers gets H.R. 6529 membership in the “. . . and a pony” club.

Here’s the current vote on the bill. Click to vote, comment, learn more, and edit the wiki article for the bill:

H.R. 6498 is called the Genomics and Personalized Medicine Act of 2008. It was introduced on Tuesday this week.

The bill’s statement of purpose is what wins it membership in the “and a pony” category of congressional bills: “To secure the promise of personalized medicine for all Americans by expanding and accelerating genomics research and initiatives to improve the accuracy of disease diagnosis, increase the safety of drugs, and identify novel treatments, and for other purposes.”

Personalized medicine for all? Wow – that’s a big, dramatic claim, and it’s probably unattainable.

But there’s no doubt of good to be done from genetic research. The bill would create a Genomics and Personalized Medicine Interagency Working Group at the Department of Health and Human Services. It would promote spending on genetic research, including on a “national biobanking initiative.” The personalized medicine part would be advanced by the creation of a “Registry on Analytical and Clinical Validity of Laboratory-Developed Genetic Tests.” The bill would spend $235,000,000 in fiscal year 2009 on these and other programs.

Good things? Yes. Delivering on the out-sized promise in the bill’s statement of purpose? Not so much.

Here’s the current voting on the Genomics and Personalized Medicine Act of 2008. Click to vote, comment, learn more, or edit the wiki article about the bill:

I take a quick glance at all the bills that are introduced in Congress to make sure you’re getting the very, very best information from WashingtonWatch.com. (And maybe I’ve got a touch of OCD.) As I do, I often stumble across bills that stand out just for something in their titles. The bed bug bill was one.

Then there are the bills whose titles promise too much. You know it’s too good to be true.

I’ve created a special category for these kinds of bills called “. . . and a pony” because they’re like what you’d ask Santa Claus for after you finished with the stuff you thought you might actually get.

Tonight’s bill is H.R. 6444. Now, it doesn’t have one of those made-up titles like “The Everyone Will Be Happy From Now On Act,” but it’s close. (It might later; they’re sometimes added.) It just has a brief summary of what the intent of the bill is. And H.R. 6444’s intent is “To provide affordable, guaranteed private health coverage that will make Americans healthier and can never be taken away.” And a pony.

All these things are good, and I think a competitive system for private health coverage would help control costs and make people healthier, or at least leave them with more money to have fun with before they die – which is inevitable, y’know (and that’s OK).

But “guaranteed” health insurance that “can never be taken away”? Hey! If I’m in an insurance pool and other people in it have taken up parachuting and base jumping because their methamphetamine habit just isn’t interesting enough – I want them OUT of my insurance pool! I want their insurance taken away! Because they’re raising my rates!

So the first inductee into the “. . . and a pony” insurance pool is H.R. 6444, “to provide affordable, guaranteed private health coverage that will make Americans healthier and can never be taken away.”

Here’s the current voting on the bill: click to vote, comment, learn more, and edit the wiki article: