In my continuing quest to turn up the most essential legislative issues, I bring you . . .

H.R. 6488, to direct the Consumer Product Safety Commission to promulgate a final consumer product safety rule banning novelty lighters.

With energy prices soaring, a war in Iraq, and a humanitarian crisis in Darfur, we really should think of the children. And that’s what I assume this bill is about, protecting children from the attractive nuisance of novelty lighters. Well, guess what. Children are going to be attracted to lighters whether they’re “novelty” or not. They’re lighters, after all.

And that’s why we have “parents.” To tell children to leave lighters the heck alone. And to take them away from children, and to scold children, and to send children to bed without any supper, and ultimately to mold children into well-adjusted adults.

Again, that’s what parents do to children. It’s not what the Consumer Product Safety Commission does to all of us grown-ups.

If this mini-rant isn’t good enough for you, The Consumerist has a post up on the topic. There are interesting comments on both sides of the line dividing whether people should look after themselves or call on the federal government to look after them. I suppose my rant places me firmly in the personal responsibility camp.

Here’s the current vote on H.R. 6488, to direct the Consumer Product Safety Commission to promulgate a final consumer product safety rule banning novelty lighters. Click to vote, comment, learn more, and edit the wiki: